My twin girls were born at 25 weeks gestation. I was on bedrest at home for 2 weeks and in L&D for 2 weeks before the girls were born. Other than the fact I was carrying twins, there was no reason they could find for my premature labor. Rebecca is now a 4 year old, perfectly healthy little girl with absolutely no effects from being a micro preemie. She is truly a miracle baby. Rachel had a much different story. She was very sick in the NICU and was on the vent for over 2 months. At one point, her lung collapsed and her kidneys were failing. We never thought she would make it thru, but my little one rallied and came home after 4 months on O2 and with terrible reflux. At the time, the drs. thought she would be off O2 in a few months. She would eat, but would throw up all the time. It took her so much energy to breathe she wasn't gaining weight. A month later, she wouldn't eat anymore so she was back in the hospital. After 3 weeks she came home with an NG tube but while she was finally getting some food, she was having micro aspirations into her lungs. Last Sept. she was back in the hospital having surgery for a Nissan and a g-tube. I was a mess at this time. I was so sure I would lose her during the surgery but she came thru beautifully and was home after a week acting so much happier. I have video of her laughing, smiling, playing with toys. But, her O2 needs were going up. After a month at home she was back in the hospital. After 2 days, on Oct 11, 2004, she coded, was taken to the PICU where they did an emergency intubation. Long story short, the drs. knew that for the short term she was critical but given time, her lungs might heal. Didn't happen that way. They did a trach in January and it seemed that my little one would eventually come home. Then she developed heart problems. When they were able to let her wake up, her eyes (which had been fine) were very jittery and she developed terrible edema on her trunk... dermotology was unsure what would happen to her skin later on. I was scared to death what the long term would be like for my baby. What type of life is this for a little girl? What would life be like for us and her brother and sister? Rachel passed away on March 26, 2005. It hurts so friggin much. When Rachie was born, I always felt that she wasn't meant to be here. That I wasn't going to have the chance to watch her grow, walk, run and play with her siblings. I had hoped and prayed she would prove me wrong; but, I feel that now she is at peace. I picture her playing with other children, in a beautiful healthy body. She knows how very much she was loved and wanted. I wanted my daughter to be at peace, not lying in a hospital bed, attached to a feeding machine, breathing machine, O2 sensors, heart monitors, a central line, on many different and potent drugs that carried their risks for her future. I prayed for her to get better but also let her know how strong, wonderful and courageous she was and that if it got to much for her, it was OK for her to close her eyes and go dance with the angels. I wish that things could be so very different, but I know that my Rachie is now at peace. (But, I will forever and always wish for one more chance to hold my little girl, the little girl before the final PICU stay, when she could look in my eyes and smile....just one more cuddle, one more smile...my forever wish is for just one more Rachie's candle http://www.theeternalcandle.com/berkowitz-rachel-lyn-for-our-precious-child/